Isaiah 6:8

This blog post has been brewing inside of me. So, I thought it was time to pour. It makes me a bit nervous, because these are my inner, most venerable thoughts; however, it is part of my story. Isaiah 6:8 says, "I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send, who will go for me?' and I said 'Here am I, send me!". The summer of 2002 this became my 'life verse'. My dad a year before went on his first mission trip to Latvia, and to say he came back a different man would be an understatement. My family was called to Latvia, and my dad was the first on God told. I wouldn't get the message until the next summer. My dad took another trip to Latvia, and this time our church was able to bring back a few Latvians for one month. I got the opportunity to serve with all of these Latvians on a mission trip to San Marcos. On that trip I really felt God calling me to missions, specifically to Latvia. I don't know how or why, but I knew it in my gut. Maybe it was the slight glimpse I got of this wonderful country. I was in love. Immediately we were planning our trip in 2003. My mom was the last to come around. Being the caring, loving mom she is, it worried her a bit. However, God worked a miracle and got us there in July of 2003. It changed all of our lives. The minute I stepped out of the sliding doors into the airport, I was home. After this trip my dad really felt my family should move there, obviously this didn't happen. I guess if I were to tell the honest truth, I think it was God's perfect will for us to mover there. This was a very rough time for me. It was my freshman year of high school, and I just didn't want to be there. Thankfully, God grants grace and we were able to heal as a family. The following summer only strengthened my love of the 'singing nation'. Every trip held some kind of growth, of course. I have been at my lowest and highest there. One of the biggest blessings was having the opportunity to love on kids. Of all ages. My last trip I was given the opportunity to pray with a teenager that I had known for several years, and lead her to Christ. It was a huge blessing. I am so humbled to have been a part of God's work. The stories are virtually endless. Every year I would go in wary of the new team, and every year it was perfect. This summer I was not able to go to Latvia. I have know since November I wouldn't be. Joe and I were at our pre-marital counseling and the leader stressed the importance of the 'first year'. I remember he said, if you are really involved in something (even some kind of ministry) without your spouse, consider dropping it for the first year, and really focusing on your new ministry. Oh man that stung, but I knew. I knew I couldn't go. (I have never told anyone this before). It broke my heart. It is still breaking my heart. One of the most significant blessings from 8 years of travel/service with a lot of the same people, is they become your family. One of the hardest things is not knowing I have a Galina hug coming sometime soon. Galina is a women that has cooked for us, served with us, and loved on us. She is an amazing women. I wish I could adequately express how much I love everyone. Right now, two people are there from our church. They are great, great guys, but it is killing me to not be there. Whenever I get an update email, I cry. Whenever I see a picture, I cry. I have a small, constant ache. This may seem obsessive. I really am trusting God. I'm not depressed or anything, it's just I want to be there so badly. I can't really think about next summer yet. I'm not shutting the door. If it is God's will for me to be there, I will be. Here are a few pictures from our travels.

Milu, Milu.

2003: with Amy and Carrie. We have shared so many sweet, funny memories.

2003: With the Straume triplets!

2009: We were about to leave for the airport. I have watched these sweet girls grow up. I hated have to say goodbye, instead of see you next summer. They walked with their dad to tell us good bye. They drew pictures for me, the one that put me over the age was a picture of an angel, saying "May God guard your way". There was not a dry eye in the room. I was a bit emotional.

2009: We watched these boys grow up as well. They were so sweet, and unfortunately they seem to be lost in the word. Pray for them.

2009: This is sweet Galina. She has been through too much to say here, but she is faithful. This was one of the evenings when were all staying in Ziedkalne. We do this every trip. We live together, eat together et cetera. We become a family. Every night we would cry out to God together. It was amazing. To be completely open and accepting of each other. Too many times Christians are hardest on other Christians. Love people, love. (Ok, I'll get off my soap box). I am always so convicted because I don't know one Christian family that fervently cries out to God together. Including my own. When was the last time you cried out to God with someone? I hope I can learn to do this more.

2009: This is a perfect depiction of our time in Latvia. At the end of the day we always meet and eat together. We fellowship like we as Christians are meant to.

2008: This little guy is my buddy. His name is Vaidims. Pray for his salvation.

2008: My Ladies!! Every year we take pictures here.

2007: This is right after I got my tattoo, and right before Joe got his. It was too funny. My mom was all worried about it then. All crying and everything, & now she totally loves it. She thinks it's a great story. I nearly passed out, not from pain, but from just the fact I got a tattoo. I'm sure this comes as no surprise ;). The guy had to give me alcohol to sniff. Serving with Joe in Latvia has been my greatest joy, well almost. I would not have married him unless he felt called there as well.

2007: The greatest 4th of July ever! Ever! With the exception of 2008, this will be my first 4th of July in the States since 2003.

2005: Me and Carrie's Girls. How I love and miss them.

2005: Serving at the orphanage. I wanted to take them home. Joe and I are really thinking/praying about adopting from LV.

2004: She was in my VBS group. We still keep in touch. She is precious.

2004: My Mommo & Tetis. We are all our best selves there. We are truly our selves.

2004: This is one of my favorite pictures of my mom. She looks so happy and at peace. She is the most sacrificing person I know, and I have loved serving with her in Latvia. I'm so thankful to God she loves Latvia.

2006: Our feet look like this at the end of everyday. It's awesome. I love walking everywhere. I love that if I close my eyes I can see the courtyard at the church, walk out of the gate, turn left, then right, to go to the store. I love that I can smell it. I love how it looks and feels the same when you fly in. It feels like coming home.

'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news...'