What I didn't Know Then...

...I know now. Six months ago when I was wanting and hoping so badly to move to New York or Washington D.C. or New Orleans or anywhere but Texas (San Antonio wasn't even an after thought) I didn't know we would loose my grandma. When I said I had already grieved the death of my grandma because of the effect of the alzheimers I was so very wrong. If I had been in any of the cities listed above I would not have been able to be in Houston with my family the week of her death. I would have missed out on that special time of fellowship. That time when the only relief is to be with the people who have lost what you have lost, and are grieving what you are grieving.

...I'm learning now. I must admit there are days I still so desperately want to be living in one of those cities, days when I ask "why are we here? San Antonio of all places...". For the first time in a while (if not ever) I have found myself longing to have a different type of life. (I in no way mean a life without Joe. Second only to salvation he is the greatest gift the Lord has bestowed upon me.) Really I just mean maybe I wish I had gone to a real performance school and were on my way to grad school. Maybe I wish Joe and I were living an extravagant lifestyle in an impressive city...  There is no answer. As far as school goes I made my choice and LOVE being an Aggie. In regards to our residence God brought us to San Antonio. I have found a wonderful school and for whatever reason I am supposed to be in the life of that school for at least a few months.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will direct your paths. " Proverbs 3:5-6 repeat.